This is starting to get redundant, but another week and another flag football loss. A frustrating season found some levity this week, mainly because of the clowns we were playing. Our team was devastated by injury, work, and buy one, get one free lift tickets in Mammoth, which has no snow BTW. Down to only 7 players and three guys, we knew the odds were stacked against us, but that did not deter us from having some fun. The other team, also 0-4 and no hope of making the playoffs, did not have the same attitude. They had some doucher calling plays from the sidelines and were constantly yelling at each other for screwing up.
They had a total lack of context and what could’ve been a fun game against two winless teams turned ugly as they looked to take advantage of our depleted roster by employing illegal forward laterals, blocking down field (which is supposed to be illegal), and guys getting their rocks off by exploiting matchups against our extra female player. Needless to say, it almost led to a fight. I did everything I could do get the douchiest of them all to punch me in the face to justify a full fledge brawl, always need to protect yourself legally. Alas, it did not work.
We did find a measure of revenge at the end of the game, when we scored a TD in the final minute then proceeded to bring beer onto the field for the two point conversion, which really got their panties in a bunch and led to an easy two point conversion. Plus wasted enough time to prevent them from scoring again.
Celebrity Beer Pong Tournament
The bigger development from Saturday is that I received two new nicknames. The first, the wordsmith. After deliver one of my many entertaining and perfectly executed innuendos, a friend slipped up and called me the wordsmith. I of course took this to mean that is what all my friends think of me and were just too embarrassed to admit the awe and wonder of my wit.
Unfortunately, this glorious nickname lasted all of two minutes before our favorite ref, Kenny Rufus, called me geeky shit. The full spiel was “Man you came in the game like Rudy. Looking all geeky shit and then firing the ball all over the field. All unassuming like with those dorky clothes. Got yourself a cannon.” Needless to say, geeky shit is the one that stuck, but to be honest, it was also one of the greatest compliments of my life, so I’ll take it.
Plus, after donning me with my new nickname, he proceeded to invite us to his beer pong tournament down in Huntington Beach, where his boy Chris Conte will be participating. Now, this is a great opportunity for a Bears’ fan. Yes, admittedly, we hate on Conte from the couch, a lot. But that is part of being a fan, sitting on our lazy asses yelling at world class athletes for failing to do something in a game that would break us in half after one play. I look forward to meeting him and apologizing for all the sports hate that I’ve spewed at him over the last couple years. I feel guilty. Plus if he plays beer pong like he tackles, then he’ll be missing a lot of cups. Sorry, Chris, just trying to get it out of my system before we meet.
P.S. Kenny, not sure if you were serious with your invitation, but we’re definitely showing up.
Saturday night ended with a party celebrating our good friend Lauren Fay becoming a citizen of the United States. Our favorite Sensational Scot is now an American. We’re very proud of her accomplishment, but it got me thinking, why isn’t citizenship something we have to renew, like our driver’s license.
Being born here shouldn’t mean that we never have to prove our self worth to our country. It would help weed out all of our useless citizens who don’t vote and all things lie “Jaywalking” to happen. Our country would be a lot better off if we made ignorant fucks take exams to prove they should be citizens. Many people like to rant against immigrants coming to our country and taking our jobs, well why not prove that you’re more American by taking the same exams they do in order to maintain your citizenship? I have a feeling we’ll have a whole new perspective on the matter.
This weekend brought friend of the Millennial Man, Brian Fadem to LA. Fadem works for one of our favorite companies, the WWE, and is in town for Monday Night Raw tonight. He hooked us up with tickets for which we cannot thank him enough. Even better we got to go to lunch on Uncle Vinny Mac.
It is a special treat to have your lunch bought by a billionaire. But the real treat is just being able to have him roll through LA a few times a year. These past few years after college would be a great time to have a job that involves travel. It allows for seeing different parts of the country, which is informative. We also have a lot of friends spread across the country and it would allow us to see them a few times a year without breaking the bank or using all of our credit card miles. I often wonder if I should’ve looked for a job that involves travel, but then again I look out my window and see sunshine and 60 degree weather, so I’m satisfied.