Master Debating Myself

Master Debating Myself

Leo vs Jeter

Series Record: MASK 3 Gus 1

After a surprising win in the Olympics debate, Marcus Antonio San Keota finds himself with a two debate lead. This week we look at two top bachelors of the past 20 years, Derek Jeter and Leonardo Dicaprio, and debate which life would be better to have. We take into consideration, career, lifestyle, and most importantly the women, oh the women.

This picture says 10,000 words.

This picture says 10,000 words.

MASK: Considering my superior debating skills, I shall go first. And for me, the choice is easy. Give me the life of premiere thespian Leonardo Dicaprio.

Gus: Nerd alert! You would choose an actor over a premiere sports star.

Stud has been replaced by the word Jeter

Stud has been replaced by the word Jeter

MASK: Is baseball still a sport? I hadn’t noticed.

Gus: You know who has noticed? The over 2 million followers on his Facebook page. How many do you have?

MASK: Same as you, dummy. Want to talk Facebook page Leo has…

Gus: No! I don’t want to talk Facebook page. Let’s talk championships, as in five World Series championships. How many Academy awards does Leo have again?

MASK: Acting is not about winning trophies. The goal is to win over the American public by either pandering, ala Tyler Perry, or earning its respect ala Leo. Pandering may lead to lots of money, but the respect earns you a better place in the history books.

Gus: It’s your fault for wanting a career with no clear standard of judging success. Jeter plays for the richest franchise in American sports and has delivered five championships as the face of said franchise. Personally, I hate the Yankees, but my hatred does not blind me to the fact that if you deliver for them and the city of New York, you’re set for life. Like Sinatra said, “if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.”

MASK: Want to talk New York? Leo has made it with Mr. New York, Martin Scorsese. He has starred in five Scorsese films, only Deniro has been in more. Plus he helped him finally break through and win his first Academy Award for best director.

Gus: The New York Yankees are better known around the world than Scorsese. Jeter can go to any country and instantly get a celebrity bump.

He was set for life after this.

He was set for life after this.

MASK: Yeah, you’re right. Cause people around the world wouldn’t recognize the star of that little movie about a boat crashing. What was that called again? Oh yeah, mother fucking Titanic. The mother fucking is now trademarked. It was only the highest grossing movie ever, till that stupid Avatar movie bumped it off. The first movie to break the billion dollar mark. I think Leo gets plenty of celebrity bump.

Gus: Whatever, he still had to spend a significant time with Billy Zane to earn that big bump.

MASK: And Jeter had to do the same with A-Roid.

Gus: Touche. Alright, enough of this bullshit. Let’s get to the meat of the argument. Women. No one has a more impressive roster of conquests than Jeter. He’s dated both a former Miss USA winner, Vanessa Minnillo, and a Miss Universe, Laura Dutta. No other man can claim he has pulled off the Miss USA/Universe double play. Pun intended.

MASK: Please, Leo has been inside more  supermodels than the morning after pill. Any man who can score both Gisele Bundchen and Bar Rafaeli, is a first ballot bachelor hall of famer. And have you seen Erin Heatherton? A Skokie girl done good.

Gus: Please, only Dicaprio eskimo brother, Mike Rosemeyer, cares about him hooking up with Heatherton. Supermodels come and go. They need to hook up with celebrities in order to stay relevant. You know who doesn’t? Other celebrities. Jeter has pulled some of the hottest women, all in their primes. Mariah Carey, in the 90s. When she could still sing and hadn’t aged twenty years in two. This bloated, beat up version is fine for Nick Cannon, but Jeter gets the prime rib.

Take note, Nick Cannon. Jeter tapped your wife when she looked like this.

Take note, Nick Cannon. Jeter tapped your wife when she looked like this.

MASK: Want some celebs, okay. Sienna Miller in 2005, not only did they hook up, but she went out of her way to hook up with him to get back at philandering husband, Jude Miller. This shows what a stud Dicaprio is, Miller could have chosen anyone and she went with him. And how about Blake Lively, she is so hot that I’m 20% convinced she is a collective figment of everyone’s imagination.

Gus: Weak. I could match those with Jordana Brewster, right before the first Fast and Furious movie. Or Joy Enriguez, whom he stole away from A-Rod, bonus points. But I’ll just jump right to the Mt. Rushmore and play my trump card right now. He has the Jessicas, Alba and Biel, Minka Kelly, and Scarlett Johannson on his resume. This is what we call, game, set, and match. No other man on this planet can lay claim to this accomplishment. There is not a better Mt. Rushmore of women on anyone’s resume, including Leo’s.

MASK: You’re a star fucker. Sure those women are good looking, but they are overhyped because they are celebs. The supermodels that Leo hook up with may not be as famous, but many are hotter than even those four women. Just look at this slideshow for reference.

http://www.rantlifestyle.com/2013/11/01/pictures-leonardo-dicaprio-ex-girlfriends/

Gus: Whatever. Hooking up with a supermodel is as easy for a celebrity as kicking cats. Jeter challenges himself. Take a look at this story for reference.

http://www.sportsgrid.com/mlb/comedian-tells-story-how-derek-jeter-stole-his-girlfriend-at-the-club-laughter-ensues/

MASK: The bottom line is that both have amazing success with women, but one has to work out constantly, spend a lot of time with sweaty dudes, and constantly travel to cities like Kansas City and Cleveland. The other gets to travel the world, get first class treatment everywhere he goes, work with attractive actresses, and work with the most talented directors. Leo gets his face plastered on posters around the world and is projected on the big screen playing some of the most memorable characters in film history.

Gus: Jeter may have to work out a lot to compete, but Leo has to constantly alter his mind to get into different characters. He has to go away for months at a time, living out of his trailer on long, arduous film shoots. Jeter, on the other hand, gets to play a game for a living, and he gets to do it New York City. It is a game most people play as a kid, but he gets paid millions of dollars to do it as an adult.

MASK: A game he is forced to retire from at the end of the year due to physical limitations. Athletes careers do not last as long as actors, Dicaprio will be acting for another 40 years while Jeter will only make limited appearances on TV. His fame will slowly fall off.

Gus: First of all, his legacy is set for life. Secondly, he will have the opportunity to get some privacy and have a chance to live a more normal life. The swinging bachelor life is a lot of fun, but after awhile the joy diminishes. Jeter has the opportunity to settle down and live outside the limelight. Dicaprio is forced to be paraded out in front of the American public with every film he makes.

 

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Master Debating Myself

Tanking

Series Record – Gus 1 Marcus Antonio San Keota 1

After two weeks of debates, I’ve master debated myself to a tie. Sadly this happens a lot. This week I look to find a little satisfaction with the topic of tanking. Tanking is the hot buzzword in the NBA this season. It is the practice of purposefully losing in order to increase the chances of getting a top pick in the next year’s draft. A 2014 NBA draft littered with talented prospects has teams drooling and looking to lose as much as possible.

Let the debate begin.

Man the guns, your favorite NBA team may be preparing to go tanking.

Man the guns, your favorite NBA team may be preparing to go tanking.

MASK: Basketball is the one sport where one player can completely turn around the fortunes of a franchise. Baseball is filled with too many statistical anomalies for the best pitcher or hitter to improve a team to a championship level, on his own. It requires a full team effort and a lot of luck to win the World Series. Last Sunday’s big game proved that even the best QB, having a record breaking year that led to his fifth MVP, is enough to win the Lombardi trophy.

But in the NBA, the best player or a couple of the very best players, typically hold up the Dave O’Brien Trophy. Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Shaq, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, and now Lebron James all have won the title while being the best player on the planet. It takes more than just the best player on the planet to win, but in no other sport does it help more to have the best player on the court than basketball. This year’s NBA Draft has six or seven possible franchise players with the potential to be the best player on the court.

Feel free to root for your team to squeak into the playoffs and then get embarrassed on National TV in a dominating four game sweep at the hands of a team that can actually win the championship. Right now that includes Heat, Pacers, Thunder, Clippers, Spurs, and that’s it until any big trades happen to shake things up. I’m rooting for my team to lose as much as possible and get a chance to draft a player that can help them win a championship.

The worst place to be in the NBA is the middle. There is no winning a championship from the seeds 6-10, unless a team wins a 1.8% for the top pick. Break out those “Riggin’ for Wiggins” or “Be Sorry for Jabari” posters, it is time to tank baby tank.

Gus: Rooting for losing? That goes against everything it stands for to be a sports fan. I understand wanting to get the next Lebron or Durant, but purposefully losing does not guarantee it. All these prospects only bring the potential of being a franchise player and there is no guarantee in potential. Ask the Cavs how things are going with Anthony Bennett. If potential brought victories Manute Bol’s jersey would be hanging from the rafters in D.C. A more tragic precautionary tale of potential lost, the Celtics drafting Len Bias who died of a drug overdose before ever stepping on the parquet floor of the Garden.

Remember when Kwame was the next big thing? Yeah turned out real well for Charlotte.

Remember when Kwame was the next big thing? Yeah turned out real well for Charlotte.

Potential does not win championships, so I’m going to go ahead and root for my team to win. Besides, potential franchise players can be acquire in other ways. Kobe Bryant was the 13th overall pick in the 1996 draft and he got traded by the Hornets to the Lakers. Tony Parker was drafted 28th overall and has been essential to keeping the Spurs relevant. Both Kareem and Wilt, the two best offensive centers of all-time got traded to the Lakers in the middle of their careers. Man, the Lakers sure trade for a lot of franchise players. Lebron James might be the best player on the planet, but he did not win any championships for the team that drafted him. Sorry Cleveland. The Celtics assembled a Championship team in one off-season because Kevin McHale lost a poker game to Danny Ainge.

There are many ways for a team to get a franchise player that do not involve openly rooting for them to lose games. There is a special place in hell for fans who are vile and disgusting enough to do something as despicable as rooting against their team. As the French soldier said to the English Kanigget:

MASK: A simple minded approach from a simple minded man. No wonder you’re such a terrible chess player. Yes, there are different ways to get a franchise player than a top pick in the draft, but why limit the amount of chances for your team. A first round exit via ass whooping does nothing for them and barely missing the playoffs to land outside the top 10 does even less.

The Spurs built a consistently talented team  for the past 17 years because of one bad season that led to them drafting Tim Duncan number one overall. The Thunder has built a team on the cusp of a dynasty via multiple years of lottery picks. Yes, there are busts in the lottery, but it also has the most top talent and a fan must have faith in the front office that it can evaluate talent properly in order to avoid an Anthony Bennett situation. Again, Sorry Cleveland.

Gus: Faith in the front office? How am I suppose to have faith in a front office that allowed the team to get bad enough that losing became the best strategy? I get it, tanking increases the chance of winning a championship, but only one team gets to take home the hardware, leaving 29 other fan bases disappointed. If we hold the standard of success to winning a championship, then we’re going to be constantly disappointed. Just ask Cubs’ fans.

I read a great article yesterday about the importance of distractions.

MASK: Eh, could have used a proofreader.

Gus: Whatever, the point is that rooting for our team to win provides a great distraction. We invest time and emotion into them in order to provide a break from the struggles of life. It’s a nice moment when we get to see them win a game and even when they lose at least we supported them. Feel free to hop on the tanking bandwagon, but a true fan doesn’t believe in either tanking or bandwagons. We ride and die with our team to the bitter end and appreciate the distraction it provides.

I rest my case.

MASK: Take solace in the little victories all you want. I’ll distract myself with winning championships. Anyone who has been out on Clark Street after the Blackhawks won the Cup know that all the disappointment is worth the ultimate high of seeing your team win it all.

I rest my case.

Master Debating Myself – Monogamy

I love to argue. L-O-V-E it! Arguments reveal what we truly care about because if we’re not willing to argue, then it does not matter to us very much. Unfortunately, not everyone shares my love of competitive banter, but rather finds my penchant for inciting arguments to be quite the nuisance. Despite my lack of fully understanding why a person would ever dislike arguing, in my attempt to grow I will respect every person’s own views.

However, since my desire to verbally dispute courses through my veins stronger than bullshit in Lance Armstrong’s, I need to find an outlet for my argumentative nature. But where, how, who? Then the answer dawned on me, there is only one person who can spar with me in the arena of rhetoric, me.

I must debate myself, and since I’m a self-professed master of gab, I’ll be master debating myself. For clarity sake I’ll call one me, Gus, and the other Marcus Antonio San Keota, or MASK for short. Since I love arguing so much, it will not be hard to debate both sides of an issue. I’ll leave the verdict up to you.

My first topic of debate: monogamy.

If we put an end to this guy terrorizing our movie screens, then we can put an end to monogamy.

If we put an end to this guy terrorizing our movie screens, then we can put an end to monogamy.

Gus: Ladies and gentleman, love sucks. There, I said it and it felt good, right even. Why do we put up with something that causes so much heartache and pain? Why are we constantly trying to make relationships with one person work? The most dangerous answer to any question is “that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is an answer that shows a lack of thought or understanding.

We should never be shackled to a practice just because people who inhabited this world before us decided it was best. After all there is a long history of practices from the past being vile and disgusting. Remember when Rob Schneider was a movie star? Monogamy is not as despicable as many of the horrific practices throughout history, but it does cause plenty of destruction. Half of all marriages end in divorce, an astounding number especially when you consider how many relationships do not even make it to marriage. Monogamy is a crazy practice equitable to banging one’s head against a wall. If airplanes crashed on 50% of flights, would everyone still fly? I certainly hope not, it just does not make sense to participate in a practice that has the same probability of success as betting on black in roulette.

MASK: I feel bad for my opponent that he has given up so easily on love. It is rare to find a 24-year old cynic, so I appreciate the sighting. Does love suck? You better believe it. It is an excruciating form of consensual torture. But we do not put ourselves through it simply because our ancestors did it, we do it because the greatest highs in life are always paired with equally low lows. Monogamy is difficult because it takes a full commitment, something that is dangerous because it leaves us vulnerable to a lot of pain. A pain I, like my opponent, has experienced many times before.

Our relationship failures make it easy to question, why we put ourselves through the torture and look at all the stats of relationship failures, then give up on monogamy. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, but the common argument of its detractors, would we get on a plane if it crashed 50% of the time, is neither fair nor applicable.Relationships are unpredictable. It requires meshing two people’s rawest emotions together. It takes a leap of faith, to dive in head first and commit fully. This commitment is a huge risk and failure is inherit in risk. It does not mean we should give up on it all together, but rather accept that anything that is worthwhile comes attached with the risk of failure.

Gus: The reason monogamy is so difficult is not because of the challenge of meshing together emotions, but rather because it makes no logical sense. Despite what Hollywood and Hallmark sell us, there is not “the one” sitting at some coffee shop just waiting to bump into us. There is no way for one person can fill all our wants and desires. Relationships sizzle out because over time we start to realize that things are missing and a desire for more grows.

We turn the blame onto our partners, when really it is no one’s fault. There are relationships that come close to being right, but fall apart due to minute details. There are people we cannot keep our hands off of, but when it comes to spending time or trying to build a life together the compatibility falls apart. A person may be absolutely perfect for you, but you share vastly different ideologies, religious, political, or social and that drives a wedge into the relationship until it eventually breaks.

We end up being so picky because we only have one shot at making a relationship stick and it causes us to miss out or say goodbye to people who can bring happiness into our lives. If we didn’t have to be with one person, if we could have multiple partners, these relationships wouldn’t have to end and the combination of them all  would make us happier people.

Let's leave polygamy back in the 1st millennium AD, where it belongs.

Let’s leave polygamy back in the 1st millennium AD, where it belongs.

MASK: You’ll have to excuse my narcissistic opponent for his outrageous views on relationships. I agree that “the one” is a myth, there are plenty of people out there that are right for us, but a complete relationship is only shared with one other person. Multiple partners fulfilling all our needs only works for Emperors and on SkinemaxYou animals. It treats people as vessels built to serve and not human beings with their own wants and desires. It takes a lot of sacrifice and work to have a successful relationship. Polygamy is a cop out, an easy way to avoid put any effort into a relationship.

The real work must start with our self. We cannot fully love another person until we figure out who we are and what we want, which requires diving into the deep end. Polygamy allows us to stay on the surface and feed all our shallow wants and desires. Full commitment is scary, it leaves us vulnerable. No one likes to be vulnerable because it requires revealing all our flaws, something we put a lot of effort into hiding, especially from ourselves. A polygamous relationship is another form of lying, it is a way to have a relationship with only the parts of people that we like and allows us to avoid our own flaws. A fully committed, monogamous relationship means taking the good with the bad and working together with another person to improve ourselves.

Gus: I’d rather be a narcissist, then a rancid sentimentalist. Humans are so proud of getting out of the food chain and are so supercilious about where we stand in the hierarchy of life that we forget that we too are animals. Anyone who has read Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen knows that there are biological needs to sex and relationships, biological needs that are vastly different and antagonistic between males and females.

Yeah. This guy looks like he is having a miserable time.

Yeah. This guy looks like he is having a miserable time.

A male with his unlimited supply of sperm has the need to spread his seed as much as possible, while the female, with limited eggs, has a need to protect them and find a stable, protective environment in which to raise them. This is not to say that all of sex is biological, there is a pleasure that comes from sex, necessary to encourage it to happen since it creates life. A female still enjoys sex and what she looks for in a sexual partner is not what she looks for in a life partner, which is why once the eggs are protected it is more likely that she will step out and look for more sexual partners.

If you want us to stop lying to ourselves to cover up our flaws, then it should start with the fact that full commitment to one person is something that is just not in our nature. We shouldn’t be ashamed of it or try to hide it by convincing ourselves that love is the cure to all our problems, but rather accept and incorporate it into our lives.

I just want a more open society where we are all just honest about what is so often kept secret. Between divorce and affairs it is obvious to me that monogamy just does not work. There will be some who find the practice of polygamy too tawdry and discussing and others who are happy with one person, but as a whole we could benefit from becoming a polygamous society. It is not something that has to be enforced, unlike our current laws on monogamy, but rather a freedom of choice.

And I rest my case.

Bill Nye would be appalled to hear what Gus is trying to pass off as science.

Bill Nye would be appalled to hear what Gus is trying to pass off as science.

Me: My opponent’s ego is bigger than I thought if he is trying to pass off that Penthouse forum crap as science. Men have a biological need to spread their seed? What a crock of shit. It is a clear attempt to find an excuse for his own shortcomings in relationships and as a human being in general. Humans do not need to fuck everything we see, this obsession with sex is a result of our culture glorifying it to the point that we are all disappointed with the amount we’re having.

Life and especially relationships are more than just sex. This world where we are all just free to roam around and have sex with anything that moves is a fantasy and an ill-conceived one at that. Is sex important, absolutely, but it too gets better when it is done with a person we care about at it’s best when with someone we love. The male curiosity to stick a penis into anything that moves often leads to disappointment, especially of this variety.

My opponent might want us all to be free to be with whomever we like, but then there is no one on whom we can depend. Monogamy is tough and down-right torturous at times, however, that does not mean we simply just give up on it. Loving someone, sharing a life together, being true partners brings a higher pleasure that nothing can match.  And that is worth every ounce of pain it takes to reach it.

And I rest my case.

This Post was Written By Tom Demetrio, Co-Founder of Millennial Man