The millennial generation is obsessed with instant feedback, breaking news, and kneejerk reactions. We want information two minutes ago, and we want to have formed an opinion on that info and sent it out into the social media stratosphere one minute ago. We troll people in the YouTube comment section, take pride in knowing Kanye and Kim’s wedding plans before our friends, and compete for the most likes on Instagram.
These habits are burned into our subconscious. After all, we’re the generation that first fucked around with Napster, rushed home to use AIM to talk to people we just saw five minutes ago, and showed our parents how to use and iPod.
Every generation has its problems. A lot of the time, we deal with the same issues our parents and grandparents did, except our version of the issues wears skinny jeans. Our issues are different in appearance only.
One of my main problems with our generation is that we are too obsessed with love at first sight. We want to realize things too fast. We want everything now. There’s never any time to gain context or perspective.
I do believe that some people fall in love when they first meet. I’m a romantic and that will never change. My issue isn’t with the idea with love at first sight. I’m just upset more people don’t build in time for self-realization, personal growth, and added experience. People don’t look for love at second sight.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating living in the past. I am advocating looking to the past for answers about the future. Self-evaluation. Honest reflection. Why’d you act a certain way toward that guy or girl? Was there a reason you went on that a manwhore binge? Trying not to deal with something? Is there a reason you drunk text the same person all the time? Can’t get someone out of your mind?
For every cutesie story about love working out in romantic comedy-like fashion, there are five stories about love growing a different way. I used to be naïve enough to think falling in love could only happen in movie fashion. Meet girl. Fall for girl. Girl falls for you. Ninety hilarious minutes ensue and you live happily ever after.
Then I learned the hard way that sometimes you realize how you truly feel about someone long after the most opportune moment has passed. I don’t want to get into details about my own story. I would rather pass on the advice that I learned in a series of (hopefully) helpful bullet points.
Here’s Why Love at Second Sight Is a Thing:
We keep growing. Or at least we should. The version of you 3-4 years ago is most likely different than you now. I’m not saying you need to be different people all the time, but it’s important to find out more about yourself as this life thing goes along. Therefore, the person you have become might look back on an old friend and say, “Holy shit. That’s the Sally to my Harry. I’m an idiot.”
Missed connections. In baseball, if you get a hit one out of every three times you go up to bat, you go to the Hall of Fame. In life and love, it’s okay to swing and miss a lot. Sometimes you and someone else don’t connect the first time around. If you think about them a lot, and they haven’t made it clear they aren’t into you, it’s not ridiculous to take another swing. Just make sure it’s the right pitch. Don’t go up to the plate with no plan and swing at a ball over your head.
The Step By Step theme song. This song really sucks. It’s also disturbingly beautiful. It actually has a lot of life lessons. “We’ll be better the second time around.”
America. God damn it. In this country, we love redemption stories. Anyone’s got a chance if they work hard to get what they want. Another naïve view? Yeah, probably. But I think there’s something to messing up and learning what you did wrong.
Those are just a few reasons why we should slow things down and take a second look once in a while. Gain perspective. Get a larger sample size. Live and learn before you love wildly. You might just be able to love wilder.