This hashtag is riddled with irony as it is clearly supposed to be #WorstCollegeClasses. But perhaps the hashtag creator is clever and meant “Worse” in the sense that they didn’t learn proper English in college. I’m going to let the mistake slide today – I’m in a good mood.
In honor of the beautiful disaster of a person who came up with this hashtag and the intelligent and ironic public that made it viral, I would like to offer up a #WorseCollegeClasses curriculum for all of our college readers out there.
Dealing With The Drunkest Person at The Party 101
This is a semester long class that meets three days a week for an hour. In college, and throughout the rest of your life, you will attend social gatherings where people will consume copious amounts of alcohol. It’s important to learn the language of schnockered (drunk as hell) partygoers. Learning the intricacies and nuances of their dialect will go a long, long way when you’re in their position.
Not Driving Like a Vengeful Ass Hat 200
In your adult life, you will get into the groove of “commuting” to work. It’s the adult word for “going” to work. Once you get used to your “commute,” you will get irrationally flabbergasted when a jagbag cuts you off. This class, which meets once a week for four hours in a local parking lot full of loud noises and oversized SUVs, will teach you Zen philosophies to quell your Disney-bad-guy-ish rage.
Grammar and Basic Internet English 222
Grow up a native English speaker? Went to grade school? That is no longer a legitimate excuse not to take a college-level Basic English class. This class will have a twist to it, however. It’ll teach Internet illiterates the ways of “WTF,” “NSFW,” “#TBT,” and a bunch of other bullshit. The real kicker is that this class will help you speak in strict 140-charactered sentences.
Online Dating for Dickbags 300
There’s nothing wrong with online dating. We live in the 21st century. But this course teaches students how to be the most unappealing, self-indulgent jackass on eHarmony. The first few weeks will cover how to take a topless, photo-shopped profile picture at just the right douchebag angle. The next portion of the course will cover how to embellish your lackluster bedroom skills by mentioning your foot-long schlong (winky face).
How to Be Poor and In Debt 400
This class might not be the #Worse because it covers the few months after graduation when you still might not have a job. It teaches you how to eat mac & cheese for a fortnight, how to not bring your car in for an expensive tune up for three straight weeks, and how to turn a temporary job that pays $10/hour into a way to pay for groceries, rent, and mac and cheese.
What’re your #WorseCollegeClasses? Tweet at us or write in the comments section. We need to fill four years worth of curriculum!