Would You Rather: Triple Threat

A special triple threat edition of would you rather, have everything you own always be clean, neat, and organized or have every part of your body – inside and out – always be perfectly clean or always be wide awake and energized without ever needing sleep?

The crux of this question comes down to which tedious human necessity could you do without? I always underestimate how long it will take to get ready in the morning, which feeds into my terrible snoozing habit. Sleep is always my top priority in the morning and I wait till the last possible moment to get out of bed, while still thinking I can get to work in time. But it never works out that way, between getting out of bed, making said bed, hopping in the shower, drying off, brushing my teeth, using mouthwash to stay fresh, applying deodorant, sculpting my hair with shitty hair gel, picking out an outfit, making sure to grab my phone, wallet, and keys, time adds up before I can walk out the door. Every morning I have to make cuts on the fly in order to not be late for work and even then that is not enough. Stay away from me if one of those was deodarant or mouthwash. But it is usually just making the bed and hair sculpting that get short changed. 

I could still use a list like this.

I could still use a list like this.

These tedious things add up and we never consider the time that it takes up in our lives. One of my favorite professors, Mark Pilkington, always lectured us about doubling the amount of time you put into planning things. If you think it will take you a half hour to get somewhere, then leave a hour beforehand. If you planned to rehearse a presentation for 15 minutes before a meeting, then do it for 30. His advice makes perfect sense and I know it would improve my life, yet I still do not have the wherewithal to apply it. It’s pathetic really that I’m so lazy as to not put the effort into something I know will help me. Instead I choose to hope for a hypothetical situation where everything is always clean and organized or my body is always at peak cleanliness without me doing a thing or I never have to sleep and gain 6-8 hours of my life.

Out of all these things sleep brings me the most comfort, but only because all I have to do is lie down. Many people say they enjoy sleep, but is it the act of sleeping itself that we enjoy or the result of re-energizing us? Perhaps some people enjoy the act because they want to be unconscious from the world for several hours. It is a chance to get away from the stresses of life and be at total peace. I for one have never been comfortable with the concept of being unconscious for so long, but love the way sleep makes me feel when I get enough of it. This is why I’ve always had trouble falling asleep at night and getting up in the morning.

The other day a friend asked me what I thought the world would be like if everyone’s life expectancy doubled. It was an interesting question and we both agreed that people would go to school for longer. Everyone would become masters of their intended craft well before they worked a day in their lives. I also thought that people would feel less of a rush to start a family and therefore we would have less people on the earth even a people lived longer. A world where no one had to sleep to feel rested isn’t quite double our lifespan, but it does give us an extra third of our lives back. There is a good chance that we would waste this extra time and not do much more than we do while asleep. But I still think it would be awesome to have that extra time.

Perhaps this is what I'll become with all my extra time.

Perhaps this is what I’ll become with all my extra time.

Time is a precious commodity, the most precious in fact. All of these things would give us extra time. Having everything in our lives cleaned and organized would save us from the work that such a task requires, as well as the time it takes to find things in a mess. Having every part of our body automatically cleaned for us would save us the tedious time of washing up that we need to do every day. Not needing sleep to be rested clearly saves us the most time, but it is also something that is the most enjoyable, an escape from the realities of life. Plus that much time saved might not be good for us, too much of a good thing as they say. In the end though, give me as much extra time as possible. Our lives are so short that I would like to maximize it.

What does everybody else think? What tedious task would you like to cut out of your life?




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