I finally realized what I want to be when I grow up. Correction, I finally figured out what I wanted to be when I grow up. The reason for the past tense is that my realization came with another, I can never be what I wanted to be. Before everyone gets all, you can do whatever you put your mind to rah-rah on me, let me explain. The thing I’ve always wanted to be is the lead character of my own show.
Lead characters have always fascinated me because they are the focal point of everyone and thing in their lives. Who were these Masters of the Universe? Gods among men? From Zack Morris who could, cue Chris Tragger voice, literally stop time to Tommy Pickles whom had the undying loyalty of his best friends Chuckie, Phil, and Lil.
I’ve always wanted to be that person. The guy everyone in his life thinks about constantly. What is he thinking? Let’s ask him what to do? Any time anyone is struggling with something they come to me first. I wanted to be the Jack Bauer, the Olivia Pope, the Oliver Queen of my life. Only life does not work like a TV show. There is not one lead character, but rather 7 billion.
The problem with wanting to be the Master of my Universe is that people become pawns rather than human beings with their own thoughts, feelings, and concerns. It also becomes far too easy to get angry. Why aren’t people talking about me? How come no one has called me or text me in the last two hours? Everyone should want to do exactly what I want. Why don’t they agree with me? Don’t they know how awesome I am? These are the thoughts of someone who wants to be the center of everyone’s attention and it is a destructive mindset. Beyond being completely delusional, it shows complete apathy for the people in my life.
Now I have something new I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a loyal friend, a hard worker, a caring son who makes his parents proud, and a loving husband and father. Life might not be a TV show and I’ll never experience the power of being a lead character, but I do have parents that love me for than life itself, far too many friends that would drop everything if I needed them to, and of course all of you, an undisclosed amount, of loyal readers. As far as I’m concerned, Zack Morris and Tommy Pickles can stuff it, I’ll take my life over theirs any day.