Thirsty Thursday: What I’d Be Doing In College Right Now

It’s well after 5pm Eastern Standard Time on a Thursday. I’m on the West Coast these days, spending most of my weekdays in the office. But once in a while my mind wanders to years gone by at Boston University. If I close my eyes I can almost see what was going on first semester junior year (the best semester of school)…


I’m just getting home from some class. It was probably something in the basement of the College of Communication; definitely one of those tough classes only film majors have to take, like Movie Stardom. It’s so worth it to pay loans for the next 45 years of my life for collegiate courses like that.

Anyway, as I was saying, I just got home. As luck would have it, my roommates are already there, watching a rerun of Entourage. It’s the one where Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui) shows up. Yes, I know there’s a bunch where Sloan shows up. Naturally, I sit down and watch the rest of the episode. You don’t skip out on Sloan.

Toolish? I don't care.

Toolish? I don’t care.

After Entourage, we get a text from a couple of our other friends asking what we’re doing tonight. My roommates and I look at each other and shrug. “Let’s just invite them over,” any one of us says. We all shrug again. Good idea.

That’s when someone says, “Well should we play beer pong until they get here?”

Then another roommate says, “It’s only 5:30.”

We all look at that roommate. He’s smiling. “Just kidding. Let’s rack ‘em up.” I grab a 30 of Keystone Light from behind one of our beaten-up leather couches.

In no time, there’s a familiar playlist blaring from my old set of speakers. They’re a $50 set from Best Buy, but to us, they sound like a million dollars – especially when songs like Asher Roth’s “I Love College” blare from them. There might be four of us, but this party is rocking. Did I mention I’ve already won two straight pong games?

Asher Roth, a synonym for "one hit wonder."

Asher Roth, a synonym for “one hit wonder.”

After my fourth straight pong victory, I look up from the table – things aren’t fuzzy, but they ain’t as clear anymore – and suddenly the friends that texted us earlier are there. We’re playing Civil War. Then Baseball. I still haven’t showered. That’s becoming a bigger problem because we all just decided to go over to our girl friends’ place to pregame.

Wait, we didn’t consider four beer pong games, a game of Civil War, a nine-inning Baseball extravaganza – and what’s this, whiskey shots? – pregaming back then?

I’m in the shower now, humming Taylor Swift’s “Love Story.” I know I’ll hear it at some point later. I’m not in the shower alone either – oh get your mind out of the gutter. I’m accompanied by a banner of a dancing hula girl. We got her for someone’s birthday – but I can’t remember whose. I think she had a name. Damn it, what was her name?

Shower over. Now I’m humming “Stronger,” by Kanye West and thinking about all the way back to freshman year when we used to have to go to stupid fraternity parties as I slip into a pair of comfy jeans and a button-down American Eagle shirt. Almost forgot my backwards 90s-ish snapback hat. That could have ended badly. I should be humming “Good Life,” because that’s what we’re living these days as juniors with our own apartment. 

Now it’s after 10pm. We’re at the girls’ place. They’ve been drinking wine watching The Jersey Shore. We can’t even give them shit for that because half of us watch it, too. No matter. More shots. This time Vodka. Jesus, did I really used to do that?

We make it to the bar somehow, but it’s already midnight. We’re a motley crew, but somehow we make sense. I’m pretty loaded at this point, but luckily there are a few members of the crew who make me look sober. We all do that thing where you split up and talk to random friends from a class for a while. It’s fun and you can’t hear a damn thing anyone else is saying because they continue to pump Jason Derulo throughout the bar.

Wait, now we’re all back at the girls’ place. How the hell did we get here? It’s 1:30. My god, I used to stay up that late? Everyone’s pretty jacked up at this point. Only one unlucky soul has class tomorrow morning. Naturally, that means we give that guy another shot and turn on “Love Story.” It’s like clockwork. We’re all dancing and singing along, switching partners, jumping on couches, and chugging beer. I still think T-Swift should have come recorded us one of these times and created an alternate music video. We always had an amazing time.

Next thing I know, I’m waking up on my couch in my apartment in the morning. It must be Friday. The Entourage DVD menu is playing on TV. I check my phone. 9:30am. Oh shit. I was the one with class this morning.


Wait, where am I? Oh. Work.

I just woke up in my cubicle. And it’s not even 5pm here yet!


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