Justice Demetrio

Justice Demetrio has been in hiding after eliminating Valentine’s Day. He received countless death threats, mostly from Newlyweds, but his high paid security team has given him the all clear to get back on the bench. Just in time too as this case needs a rushed ruling. NCAA

Case #000000005 The People vs NCAA Basketball Conference Tournaments

March is the best month of the year. The main reason being March Madness. As a young lad. Justice Demetrio looked forward to Selection Sunday with the same anticipation as Christmas Day. He had a giant white board with a NCAA bracket and he filled in the teams as Greg Gumble announced them. Then with each game of each round he would advance the winners until there was one team left to put in that Champions spot.

It was always a magical time of year, especially when the tournament would fall on his birthday. If someone asked him a would you rather have March Madness or Christmas when Justice Demetrio was a kid, the choice would’ve been March Madness. The tournament has remained important even as he’s gotten older. I high school, class was optional during the tournament. Though somehow the deans did not get that same memo. The year that he discovered CBS’ online feature that allowed you to watch out of market games was on par with discovering the magic of masturbation. In college, his dorm room was transformed to a NCAA Command Center with more TVs than a BWW.

The best example of March Madness Magic? It actually makes people excited to see Greg Gumble.

The best example of March Madness Magic? It actually makes people excited to see Greg Gumble.


The magic has never worn off. If only this magic could be expanded, so we can experience more of it. Enter, conference tournament week, which is really almost two weeks leading up to Selection Sunday. In theory conference tournaments make sense. Let’s take the magic of March Madness and boil it down to each conference, so it happens 28 more times. The problem is that the regular season becomes diluted.

It does not impact the bigger conferences as much since most of the teams involved in the tournament would make the big dance anyways. But for the smaller, one bid, conferences these tournaments are particularly cruel. Billy’s Alma Mater, Boston University, dominated the Patriot League in its first season in the conference. It finished two games clear of second place American. But since the Patriot league will only get one team into the tournament, due to national rankings, Boston U is one game away from seeing its March Madness dreams erased. How is this fair?

The big conferences are also affected by this as the conference tournament tends to carry more weight with the selection committee. It forces teams to play on back-to-back nights, something they never do in the regular season or in the national tournament. Since only one team wins it, the tournament guarantees most teams another loss on its record, which could hurt its seeding.

Plus these tournaments happen less than a week before the national one, which means teams that run the gauntlet have less than a week to rest up after playing three nights in a row. Some teams even have to play four games in a row in the bigger conferences. This leaves teams fatigued heading into the tourney and those tired legs could affect the outcome of tournament games.


It is time to eliminate conference tournaments. Both the regular season and March Madness are watered down because of these despicable events. America likes to place huge importance on playoffs or tournaments because it creates more exciting events. Most major football, soccer to the ill-informed, around the world decide its league champions by who won the regular season. It is logical, since being the best team over an entire regular season is much harder than winning three or four games in a row. Playoffs should not be eliminated entirely, but it must be earned through a long and grueling regular season.  As it stands now, the NCAA basketball regular season matters very little.

March Madness is also hurt by these conference tournaments. Not only because it tires out the competitors, but it also takes away from the novelty of the event. The NCAA Tournament should be special, sacred even We should not see anything else like it. The fact that conference tournaments gets lumped in with March Madness shows the damage done. Justice Demetrio cannot sit by idly and watch his favorite sporting event get ruined by this sacrilege. In the words of the infamous Roberto Duran, “No mas.” Congratulations to all the teams who won their conferences regular season, welcome to the Big Dance.


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