Throughout history, men have been… well… manly. They have callused hands, they grill assorted meats and they say things like “these assorted meats that we grilled with our callused hands are sweet, dude!” But with this manliess comes a somehow unforeseen problem that men all around the world are too manly to admit they have: we have to be manly all the time! And, while I’m not saying I want to stop eating meat or having blisters all over my hands, I am saying that I want the option to flex my sensitive side as much as the fairer sex is allowed to.
I luckily had the opportunity to do exactly that when my girlfriend suggested we get manicures and pedicures for her birthday. I had never been to a nail salon before, but I could only imagine how delightfully relaxing a beautified hand and foot massage could be; so I was in. As the day approached and my girlfriend told more people about her plans for us on her special day, I found that, even in the progressive society we live in, people still get weird about a guy getting a mani-pedi.
How, you may ask, is this possible?! We live in a post “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” world. Boy bands have not only been mind-numbingly popular but have crashed Facebook and Twitter on mere rumors of their respective returns. The meterosexual movement has come and gone leaving a more accepting and open-minded society in its stylish wake. So, why is a guy that wants his cuticles and tootsies cleaned looked at like he just bought a box of Midol at CVS?
Its because a mani-pedi is still viewed as a female-only activity, most often enjoyed for bridal showers, bachelorette parties or viewing events for the Puppy Bowl (girls do that, right?). But my experience has helped me to discover a number of tips for men looking to keep their testosterone-driven mindset intact while enjoying this heavenly pampering. Follow these easy tips and you’ll be sitting in a comfy chair soaking your feet in no time.
1. DON’T BE TICKLISH – Anyone that’s ever gotten a sensual foot rub can tell you, feet are ticklish. Especially the bottom part. Like “how are we even able to wear socks” ticklish. And nothing is less convincingly manly than sqirming and giggling every time the beautician bumps into one of your toes. So, try to keep the laughs in check and learn a little self-control.
2. BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND/FRIEND THAT’S A GIRL – Besides the obvious reason that this will win you huge brownie points for showing off your sensitive side, your girlfriend/friend that’s a girl has probably gotten a mani-pedi before. Like any new experience, a mani-pedi comes with a lot of rules, regulations and seat relocations. So, bring someone that doesn’t mind tell you what to do.
3. PASS ON THE GLOSS – If you thought you got weird looks when you told people you were getting a mani-pedi, just wait for the avalanche of awkward glances when you show up to work with nails shinier than the new mirror in the bathroom. It’ll be hard to tell when they’re thinking about putting the extra layer of glam on your fingernails, so pay attention and don’t be afraid to say no.
It’s that easy, guys! And while the aim of the article is to playfully entertain you readers, I must finish this article with a sincere and glowing recommendation for getting a mani-pedi. It’s relaxing, hygenic and just downright fun. So get out there and impress the world with your hands and feet like I know you can.