Friday Poem: F You, Intern

Intern, dear Intern, I appreciate your hard work

You do crap I don’t want to ever have to do

But I must say, even if I sound like a jerk

You’re too good at this, and f you.

It’s nothing personal, please understand

I just like my job and want to keep it

It’s just that you keep giving me a hand

In ways that I don’t see fit.

What I mean is, you’re better at my job than me

You speak seven languages and it’s not fair

I give you a daylong assignment, it’s done by three

And my boss might start to compare

our work.

And that would be really, really bad

Because event though I’m pretty good

A fairly fair argument could be had

That my position is expendable.

Oh shit, I totally and completely forgot to rhyme

But it’s because I need to work harder this time

Because that over-qualified, talented college kid

Is trying to shit on the semi-above-average work I did.

Listen up, Intern, and listen now

Take your time on assignments, please do

What’s that? You don’t want to? Don’t know how?

You over-achieving SOB, f you.

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