I don’t mind hipsters at all. In fact, I steal a lot of their music and add it to the Spotify playlists I listen to each and every day. I’m actually a huge fan of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I dig a lot of the old movies they love. I like their glasses that look like my dad’s from the mid 1990s. I wish I could pull off jean jackets.
The only problem I have with hipsters is that they don’t accept being called “hipsters.” But why not? In my Book of Mormon post a couple days ago, I talked about how I’ve accepted living in the gray area between being a jock bro and a creative. Why can’t hipsters embrace being called hipsters?
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a hipster as “a person who follows the latest styles, fashions, etc. : a hip person.” And in case you forgot, hip is defined as “knowing about and following the newest styles, fashions, etc.” and “very popular or fashionable.” So what the hell is wrong with being called a hipster?
No one has ever complimented me for my fashion sense. I have been shopping once in the past three years and it was for swimming trunks. They’re awesome by the way. Shouldn’t hipsters take being called hipsters as a compliment? As a society we’re basically saying, “Nice skinny jeans, bro, you’re ahead of the trends. You set the trends. We’ll probably buy some soon.”
I think that hipsters should get over themselves and realize we’re all trying to give them compliments. We look to them to tell us what the latest vintage-but-new-and-affordable-trend is. Thanks for the affordable part, hipsters. I think half the reason I like PBR is that it’s the cheapest beer that’s not Natural Light in the Ralph’s liquor aisle.
I have a dream. A dream where hipsters and bros unite and trade tidbits of knowledge and culture. Bros can give hipsters a little bit of insight on what’s going on in the Super Bowl. Hipsters can give bros a couple cool songs to add to their pregame playlist. Then they all hold hands and sing to the one kind of music they can all agree on – Kanye West.
Lastly, hipsters, I need you to do one thing. Stop saying you don’t like 500 Days of Summer. That’s a boldface lie and I won’t accept it anymore. I’m sorry that it became really popular, but that’s because it’s a really good movie. There’s nothing wrong with something having mass appeal. It doesn’t take away from what you saw in it when you “discovered it before anyone else.”
Glad I got that off my chest. Thanks for teaching us about cool things, hipsters. Keep the sweet shit coming.