Hearsay Hobbies: Yoga (and Yoda’s Garage Yoga)

Welcome to the second installment of Hearsay Hobbies, my weekly attempt to find a fresh diversion to mundane everyday life. As always, in my weekly hobby pursuit I hope to inspire you to pickup a shiny new hobby of your own.

This week’s hobby: Yoga

If you think yoga is a little green alien from Star Wars, you’re not far off. I’m pretty sure that’s what I thought for at least a year or so after I heard someone mention “yoga.” After all, she kept talking about meditation, expanding her mind, and moving her body in all new ways. If that doesn’t sound like The Force to you, you’re nuts.

This is what I thought yoga was when I first heard about it.

This is what I thought yoga was when I first heard about it.

Turns out that smart people and yoga practitioners define the hobby as “the physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines which originated in ancient India with a view to attain a state of permanent peace.” Still sounds like The Force to me.

I’m being facetious, of course. I live in Los Angeles. It’d be a crime to not know what yoga is – and an even bigger crime to not feel guilty or lazy for not taking part in it. This feeling of laziness is made worse because my employer offers free yoga three nights a week right here in the office. I’ve been here since the end of September and haven’t taken part in one class.

I do, however, have a nice view of the work class and many attractive ladies in yoga pants from my work cubicle. This certainly makes the power of yoga more appealing and mysterious to me.

In all honesty, I’m a little too embarrassed by my inflexibility to show up at a class where everyone seems to know what they’re doing. Especially when half of that class is filled with attractive, single ladies. I’m a fairly athletic dude, but stretching and contorting my body to achieve the triangle pose – or utthita trkonasana – is intimidating as hell. Even the super calming music would not be able to quell my anxiety when trying to obtain the perfect downward dog.

That being said, I think I’ve come up with the best – and least embarrassing – way to start this hobby. I’m starting a new form of yoga called “Yoda’s Garage Yoga.”

If you’re interested, buy a yoga mat and head on over to my house. I’ve bought a cardboard cutout of Yoda to inspire us. I put together a Power Point presentation of About.com’s “10 Essential Yoga Poses for Beginners” so that we can perfect the go-to yoga moves. Additionally, I’ve made a Yoda’s Garage Yoga playlist on Spotify, and let’s just say Enya is prominently featured. Our classes will combine the power of The Force with the power of Yoga.

Yoda's Garage Yoga is coming to a house near you soon.

Yoda’s Garage Yoga is coming to a house near you soon.

In a matter of weeks, Yoda’s Garage Yoga will transform us into modern yoga Jedis. Most importantly, I’ll finally be able to make a work yoga session without any lingering doubts about my ability. I might even wear a pair of yoga pants myself. Hopefully they properly conceal my lightsaber. Shouldn’t be too difficult.

This post was written by Billy Kirland, co-founder of The Millennial Man.  

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